a little poem based on my evening

Let’s just see

if you had a couple less drops of alcohol in your system

if you would say those things to me.

What if I was your sister?

What if I was your cousin?

What if I was someone you knew, and cared about?

Would you have the gall, the audacity,

to tell me that “The beach is that way”?

Would you be able to call me a “Fat bitch”

without ever having met me?

Would you be able to say to your buddy,

“It’s not a party ‘til the fat girls get here”?

 Something tells me that I don’t think you would.

Something tells me I’d be more

than just a joke or a laugh to you.

I’d be someone more

than just another person you point at

to hide your own insecurities.

I’d be more than my appearance to you.

So before you open your fucking stupid mouth again

Think about the consequences of your words

and if you would say something like that

to a person you knew and cared about.

Because I know for damn sure I have people

who love and care about me…

if you continue to act like you don’t give a shit

I’m not sure, in the end,

that you will.

And I won’t be laughing then…

I’ll just feel sad for you.

How the tables will have turned.

The use of the term “fat.”

I have come across two occasions these past couple of days that have just made me so furious.

The first one was on Thursday. We went out to the bar and my friend and I were going to play pong against winners of a game that were going on. So these two guys come up and ask my friend who was playing at the time if they could have the next game. My friend was like, “No, sorry, these two have it,” pointing to my other friend and I. So some words were exchanged and I wasn’t really paying attention, but all of a sudden my friend got this look on his face and was telling the guys, “You better watch it,” etc etc. So then the two guys leave, and my friend turns to me and goes, “That guy just called you a fat bitch.”

I was stunned. I did not know this guy nor was he even talking to me, and he thought he had the right to call me a fat bitch?! What is wrong with today’s society?!? Thank God I have more confidence than I did last year, otherwise it probably would have been worse. It still bothered me though. He couldn’t even say it to my face! And I didn’t even say anything at all to him, so what right did he have to call me a bitch? Just because my friend and I got to the pong table faster than he did?!? I am just so angry that men in this society feel the need to degrade girls like this. Not to mention this guy had guts because there were no other girls in sight, I was with both of my guy friends. Yeah, I have fat. So WHAT?!

And then today, I read a status that said -“OK ADELE…im sick of u winning…I mean REALLY!? You are good Ill give u that…but u swept like everything….ugh…GO AWAY FAT HO.”

…I was offended. I had half a mind to tell him off, but I don’t know him that well and it would have been awkward. But here it is again, someone labeling someone that is bigger saying they’re not worth it. That’s basically what that means. You’re fat but you keep winning everything and I’m sick of it.

The term “fat” has so many more connotations than I ever realized. I’m taking a class about counseling and I’m realizing something about my father and how he treated me. He viewed being fat as being lazy, and again, not worth it. That’s how he was treated when he was a bigger kid. While I understand that, until this weekend, I’d never been teased or mocked because I was a bigger girl. But now I understand that it is such an insult. I mean, I knew that before, but really. They’re not just calling you “bigger.” They’re calling you lazy. They’re calling you worthless. They’re calling you ugly.

Well, here’s what I say. I say that’s BULLSHIT. I’m not lazy. I’m not worthless. And I am CERTAINLY not ugly. If anyone feels they have the right to call someone these things, then THEY themselves are ugly and worthless. Whoever decided that being different was a bad thing needs a reality check. I may not be all that comfortable in my skin but you know what? I know that I have so much love to give, and I know that I am a good person. For someone to judge me based on less than a two second interaction with me is absolutely asinine. I wish that more people in this society could understand that being “fat” shouldn’t determine a person’s worth. We are all worth it, every single last one of us.

LOVIN my look today…it’s all about confidence :)

GO PATS!!!!

(Source: lethal-sins, via callmemoprah)

“I am so proud to be your dad. Right now, in this moment, on this day, you won.”

(Source: donna-meagle, via courtslosinit)

jessicablossoming:

kylathegreat:

theavantguard:

this is a video of me from a couple weeks ago performing a poem i wrote called ‘fat bottomed girls’.

“if every bastard who had ever judged my body

were lined up in front of me
firing squad-style
and i was given the right
to do with them as i pleased,
i would be at a loss.
i would probably yell
—eat me!—
because i love a good fat girl pun,
but there’s nothing else left inside
to make them understand
the extreme ignorance and misspent pain they embody.

you can all just fucking EAT ME.
devour my scarlet throbbing flesh
like junior high vultures
like sorority pledge councils
like debutante beauty queens
i don’t look like you
what the fuck else is new?

there is no footnote
in the regulations index of my life
that tells me i have to sleep on ellipticals
and suck down the hopeful semen
of boys named jimmy
until you understand my body.

you won’t ever understand my body.
i am miss piggy, i am mama cass, i am fucking aretha.
and i love being these women.
i love being fat.
my thighs shriek rough and ready sex
like downtown thunder
my ass drips vanilla milkshakes
and my personal style is baby gay madonna
meets crop top goth
AND IT DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER.
being fat doesn’t make me different,
—fuck, i look like america—
but loving that i’m fat
makes me a pillsbury rebellion.

i hold protests in my mouth
when i eat in public
picket signs wallpaper my willing body
when i dance naked in my apartment.
RIOTS NOT DIETS is tattooed across my chest
and i live for the moment
when i shock you into silence.
because being me is political
and you never voted for this shit.

body image is just bad english for
how hard you stomp the sidewalk
or how many cracks in the mirror
you’ve traced.
i may have been picked last in softball,
but i was nationally ranked in tennis,
and you’ll never be ready for this jelly
because all you nibble on
are sad-ass spoonfuls of
organic low sodium peanut butter.

yeah, i tend to date black guys
and i rarely say no to a homemade baked good
but that says no more about me than —
how you chew big red compulsively when you’re nervous, or
how you can never say no to your mother —
says about you.
so just let it be.
we’re grown-ups now, i think.
there are no more lunch time kickball teams,
and i already have a date to the next dance.
so when you feel the need
to pretend to be concerned
about my health or well-being
just know that i’ve already let go of the trigger
firing squad-style
just know that you don’t have
to count the calories
when i tell you
to fucking eat me.”

Chills every dang time.
I didn’t even know how badly I needed to hear this again.

I love this.

(via imgoingtohealth)

My hair looks far too good today not to document it…did it at 8 o clock this morning and still looks fab! YUSS

Any WL Bloggers that are 200 + lbs?

popcornfishies:

If you’re a weightloss blog and are over 200 lbs. Please reblog this. I rarely find people here that are close or over my current weight.

FOLLOW ALL THE BLOGS!

(via hersheysweightloss)

my parents adopted a cat this weekend…he is SO adorable. I miss my old cat but I  met this new kitty yesterday and I’m in love <3

(via coolkidznevrdie)